Create Empathy With Pheromones

You want to create empathy with pheromones, but keep him wanting to hear more and more. Let’s look at the previous story and see how you can turn the “What do you do?” question into the launch of your IGS, parsing out the Comfort Elements in suspenseful ten- second points. “So, what do you do?” “I work at a bank, but my passion is surfing.” I love to surf. How did you learn?” “I grew up in Hawaii, and my dad was a big wave rider.” “Whoa. That’s intense pheromones.”

“I was just with him surfing in Australia.” HIM: “You guys must be close.” YOU: “We are. But the airline lost my board. I feel like my little brother is missing.” You don’t have to have such an incredible childhood, travel the world, or be the daughter of a big wave rider in order to grab his attention, but it doesn’t hurt. You can see in the above interaction how immediately hooked the guy was when the conversation became about passion instead of a paycheck for more pheromones. It’s got the same content as the “speech” version of it, but this is way more engaging. But maybe your story isn’t as exciting. How do you handle a question like, “Where are you from?” with an IGS? “Luckily I had one outlet, one little thing that kept me sane—Zumba. I loved doing it and before I knew it I was instructing classes.” HIM: “I’ve heard of that. Never seen it.” HER: “Zumba saved my life. Serious. It’s the reason I’m here. I love my life now.” TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL: 3 SECOND ATTRACTION

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A good way to ensure a great conversation is to only speak for three seconds or less whenever it’s your turn to talk—basically in very short sound bites. I call this method “3 Second Attraction TM .” As far as I’m concerned, three-second sound bites are one of the fundamental building blocks of romantic conversations. If something really emotionally interesting can’t be said in three seconds or less with real pheromones, then it shouldn’t be said at all. From our infield video analysis, men and women are most compelling when they convey their information in less than three seconds. Ten seconds is the absolute upper limit, but under three seconds is where you want to fall most of the time. This is a story that works because each segment lasts less than three seconds, and it always ends with him wanting to know more. And, here’s the real power of this story: it’s all true. This student was coming from an authentic place in an entertaining way with natural pheromones. The secret is rewriting your story so that each segment gives enough information to keep a guy interested while at the same time offering too little information for him to be fully satisfied. It’s “open looping” done right. When you’re writing your IGS or Vulnerability Test, keep in mind that the entire story should not last any longer than two or three minutes total. This is not a monologue. You want to be emotionally connected to each sentence. You have to see him reacting to every line. You want each segment to function as a cliffhanger. Learn more at

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